The national average age that people lose their virginity is 17-18. According to Kinsey Institute, the exact number is 17.15. Other surveys calculate the national average at 17.2, 17.3, and 17.4. Planned parenthood claims the number is higher, at 18 years. So it’s safe to say the national average is between 17 and 18 years.
North American average
South Korea: 22.1
South Africa: 19.4
Don’t see your country? Click here for a virginity map.
These numbers came from multiple surveys. They are a rough estimate, but not exact. For countries that were found in multiple sorices, the numbers were written down and the average of them were taken for each country.
The term virginity has multiple definitions. It is most often used to describe two consenting people deciding to have sex for the first time. In other words, if it counts as sex, it counts as losing virginity. But this raises another question. What counts as sex? The answer is a huge grey area.
Sex doesn’t have to be penis in vagina as some may think. For the LGBT community, many other sex acts count as sex and are considered losing your virginity. A good way to tell if you lost yours or not is by thinking about weather or not the name of the action had the word sex in it. Using this strategy, oral sex and anal sex are forms of sex. Therefore, they count as losing virginity. However, if you’ve done either of these, but wish to not count it as losing your virginity, that’s totally fine.
Whether or not something ‘counts’ as losing your virginity is up to you. People’s definitions vary. Some say fingering counts, some say oral counts, some say an act only counts if there’s an orgasm involved. It’s a subjective definition and there isn’t just one right answer. There are wrong answers though. If someone tries to tell you that touching yourself is losing your virginity, they don’t understand what it means to lose your virginity.
Some other virginity myths include menstrual products. People say wearing anything in your vagina for your period counts as losing your virginity. This isn’t true. You can wear tampons, menstrual cups, even an IUD, and still have your virginity. Although it won’t make much sense to wear an IUD if you don’t want to have sex.
Another myth has to do with sex toys. Using a sex toy or other object for self pleasure isn’t losing your virginity. Just because something is in a vagina does not mean that person is no longer a virgin. The same goes for male sex toys. A fleshlight can’t take your virginity, so stop telling people you lost your virginity when you first used a sex toy. Porn can’t take your virginity either. Watching porn is a form of masturbation not sex.
A common misconception is that a rape victim got their virginity stolen by their rapist. This is not only false, but also harmful information to spread. Virginity is only lost if the person consenting. If they were drunk, on drugs, or forced in any way, it doesn’t count as losing virginity. Telling a rape victim that they are no longer a virgin can psychologically harm the victim more.
Blaming the victim is common among victims of rape or sexual assault. There are cases of a romantic pattern refusing to marry or continue dating someone after their partner is raped. Their reasoning is that their partner is ‘no longer a virgin’ and they wish to only marry a virgin. Now the victim not only has to deal with the traumatic after effects of getting raped, but they also have to deal with heartbreak.
Instead of breaking up with a partner who was raped, support them. They need emotional support now more than ever. Don’t leave them because they were ‘having sex with someone else.’ They weren’t. Forced sex isn’t cheating; it’s rape. The best you can do in this situation is to help them get through it. Don’t take out your anger of the situation on your partner. Use this anger to motivate you to find the rapist and justice.
Don’t be ashamed if you lost your virginity way earlier or later than your peers. It isn’t a contest. Some people are ready to try sex as soon as they hit puberty. Others want to wait until the right moment or even until marriage. Whenever you decide to lose your virginity is completely up to you. Don’t let anyone else try to pressure you to lose it sooner than you’re ready.
There are even college students who haven’t had sex yet. Maybe you’re one of these students. In this case, it seems that all your peers have been having sex for awhile now and you haven’t still haven’t. That’s okay. Who knows, maybe your roommate is lying about his sex life to try to seem cool and fit in. Lying about virginity and body count is quite common.
If sex just isn’t your thing, that’s totally okay too. Asexuality is experience by many around the world. If you have no desire for sex and have no sex drive, you probably fall under the asexuality spectrum. This means that you don’t get pleasure from sex or any sexual activity. You may feel isolated and alone. It seems that most people are having sex whereas you aren’t. However, there are plenty of asexual people out there such as Ricky Dillon.
Losing your virginity isn’t something to rush and it isn’t a competition. Peopel may pressure you to lose it, but you don’t need to give in. It’s okay to have no desire to lose your virginity. Some people just don’t have a sex drive. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. If you’re sacking yourself for someone special, that’s okay too. It’s common for someone to want to lose their virginity to someone they love. If you do want to have sex for the first time, make sure to use protection.
Keep a look out for the virginity myths. They’re everywhere and are sometimes used to scare people into not doing certain things. Some even say bike riding can take your virginity. You can choose to not count certain sex acts as losing your virginity if you want. Just be sure to be respectful when other people do count anal and oral sex as losing their virginity. If you enjoyed this article, be sure to check out what is the best way to masturbate.